When I was first diagnosed I struggled a little with “why me?”
Why do I have to be cursed by this life changing illness without a cure in sight yet. But, as I have come to terms with my diagnosis, the constant pains, strange sensations, numbness and other effects, I have realised; why not me?
Don’t get me wrong I’m not a horrible person, but I’m no saint either. If it had to be someone I knew, who would get MS, I am glad it was me. I don’t think I could cope with seeing a family member or friend go through it.
I am lucky to have people in my life who make me smile and laugh, when I am not in the mood too. To take my mind off the pains and laugh at the many embarrassing but hilarious things that now happen to me. I am lucky to have the NHS who take care of me when I need it. However I must be costing the NHS a small fortune recently as in the month of December I have 8 hospital appointments. Not all MS stuff, there are some cardiology and endocrinology appointments thrown in for good measure but let me tell you having that many appointments with different doctors at 3 different hospitals while trying to work full time and do my Christmas shopping has not been an easy task! I’m tired and grumpy and not at all in the Christmas spirit.
There have been a few highlights this month, of a lovely family meal for my aunts 80th birthday were I caught up with all the family. I have taken my nephew to watch a special screening of Polar Express and even met Father Christmas! Plenty of pub teas and dinners (I deserve it after all the hospital appointments lol)
I have 3 more hospital appointments and my big brothers birthday next week and then I can relax for Christmas, so if you’re sat there reading this, thinking why you? It’s because you’re strong enough to deal with it and you wouldn’t want anyone to go through it
Merry Christmas all, enjoy it and remember to rest when you need it! You cannot pour from an empty cup